News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

What is the difference between a woman and a magnets?
Magnets have a positive side!

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

Crime doesn’t pay…Does that mean my job is a crime?

I’s an adult joke but it is funny. Read it first and judge..

here it is….

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what`s wrong.

“Well,” replies Paul, “you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?”

“Yes,” qoutes Jeff with a laugh.

“Well,” says Paul, straightening up, “I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed.”
“That`s great!” says Jeff, “When are you going out?”

“I went to meet her this evening,” continues Paul, “but I was worried I`d get an erection again. So I got some duct tape drives … what I mean was a duck tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn`t show.”

“Sensible” says Jeff.

“So I get to her door,” says Paul, “and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw.”

“And what happened then?”
(Paul slumps back over the bar again.)

“I kicked her in the face.”

Here’s another set of sweet quotes for all of us. You can use it as a forwarded SMS message to your bf or gf… Visit again sooN! If you want to contribute your quotes, email them to jacaranda9dbux@gmail .com

• It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someome, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone

• Loves a Sensation caused by Temptation; a guy sticks his Loctaion in a girls Destination to increase the population of the nest Generation. Do you understand my Explanation? Or do you need a Demonstration?

• The first time I saw you, I knew it was true, that I’d love you forever and that’s what I’ll do..you don’t know what you do tome, you don’t have a clue, you don’t know what it is like to be me looking at you..

• Friend means no asking..Friend means no reasoning..Friend means just believeing & Friend is that who never believe in last 3 alphabets of FRIEND.