Here’s the first one

• Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence….(a life sentence!).
• Marriage is a 3-ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.
• A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
• A woman was telling her friend , “It was I who made my husband a millionaire.”

• “And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
  The woman replied, ” A multi-millionaire”.

• There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
  Her explanation – “If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels.”